In this episode, Melissa and her two friends delve into the topic of what makes us feel like we are truly leading a successful life. We tie together the most important takeaways from the World Happiness Report, Blue Zones, and Ikagi philosophy. Hear our personal stories of escaping the cycle of exhaustion and burnout with practical tips to create a life of joy, balance, and meaningful connections. Join us as we explore the keys to finding purpose, fulfillment, and holistic well-being, while debunking the myths popularized by hustle culture. If you're ready to shift into gear and live high vibe this episode is the inspirational message you've been needing!
Episode Highlights:
Mentioned in Show
High Vibe Mindset on Instagram
Jen's instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsjennandrea/
Molly's instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mollyrsawyer/
Resources from the episode:
Support this show: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/highvibepod
I've launched a new affirmation card deck designed with YOU, the listeners in mind! The Body Deck offers 77 beautiful cards that address the three high-vibe killers of disconnection, negative-self talk & lack of self-care/coping practices. Best of all, it's portable & affordable at $33. Benefit from the transformative practice of affirmations anywhere you go. Stop self-sabotage & start being the highest version of YOU: Visit soulea.co
I've launched a new affirmation card deck designed with YOU, the listeners in mind! The Body Deck offers 77 beautiful cards that address the three high-vibe killers of disconnection, negative-self talk & lack of self-care/coping practices. Best of all, it's portable & affordable at $33. Benefit from the transformative practice of affirmations anywhere you go. Stop self-sabotage & start being the highest version of YOU: Visit soulea.co
In this episode, Melissa and her two friends delve into the topic of what makes us feel like we are truly leading a successful life. We tie together the most important takeaways from the World Happiness Report, Blue Zones, and Ikagi philosophy. Hear our personal stories of escaping the cycle of exhaustion and burnout with practical tips to create a life of joy, balance, and meaningful connections. Join us as we explore the keys to finding purpose, fulfillment, and holistic well-being, while debunking the myths popularized by hustle culture. If you're ready to shift into gear and live high vibe this episode is the inspirational message you've been needing!
Episode Highlights:
Mentioned in Show
High Vibe Mindset on Instagram
Jen's instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsjennandrea/
Molly's instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mollyrsawyer/
Resources from the episode:
Support this show: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/highvibepod
I've launched a new affirmation card deck designed with YOU, the listeners in mind! The Body Deck offers 77 beautiful cards that address the three high-vibe killers of disconnection, negative-self talk & lack of self-care/coping practices. Best of all, it's portable & affordable at $33. Benefit from the transformative practice of affirmations anywhere you go. Stop self-sabotage & start being the highest version of YOU: Visit soulea.co
I've launched a new affirmation card deck designed with YOU, the listeners in mind! The Body Deck offers 77 beautiful cards that address the three high-vibe killers of disconnection, negative-self talk & lack of self-care/coping practices. Best of all, it's portable & affordable at $33. Benefit from the transformative practice of affirmations anywhere you go. Stop self-sabotage & start being the highest version of YOU: Visit soulea.co
[00:00:00] Today is going to be a conversation on challenging your perspective on success and happiness. During this conversation, I want you, the listener, to be evaluating if you're currently living life on your terms. Or seeing where you can make those changes that align you to the excitement, peace, love, and success that you're seeking.
In a country that glorifies hustle culture and never ending productivity, it's time to hit the brakes and reassess what truly matters. We're going to unveil the societal myths that keep us trapped in a cycle of exhaustion, burnout, and numbness and discuss how to stop this cycle, so you can spend your precious time on what lights you the fuck up.
It's crucial to [00:01:00] differentiate between what your innermost self craves and sees as success versus what society and family and others around us are always subconsciously. or overtly conditioning us to pursue. Throughout this episode, in addition to sharing personal stories, I've got awesome guests here, Jen and Molly, who happen to be my close friends and neighbors.
We're also going to be drawing inspiration from the groundbreaking research in the World Happiness Report, as well as the principles from the Blue Zones and the Japanese philosophy. Aikigai. We want to provide you with actionable insights to achieve a successful life of purpose and well being. So whether you're yearning for a fresh perspective on success, seeking work life harmony, or simply curious about what it takes to lead a truly happy life, you're in the right place.
Let's dive into the episode. It's important for us to share a holistic understanding of a happy and healthy life and share different [00:02:00] perspectives on achieving a successful life that goes beyond the very narrow and prevalent capitalistic lens in America, and really in many other countries that have adopted a similar lens.
So before we dive into redefining success for ourselves, And the steps on how to cultivate that good life. Let's talk about the pitfalls and what to look out for. And what comes to mind for me straight away is What I think, too, actually held me back was when I was in grad school for my MBA, all those boss babe tech CEOs and the Forbes 30 under 30 achievers, I was just really trying to contort myself into that type of shape, and it does not remotely align with me.
But it's what I got conditioned to see as success and what I should be going for. And so, Jen and Molly, I want to hear from you guys. on your perspective and experience with the [00:03:00] popularized version of success out there and what are some of the signals and the pitfalls and the things that kind of showed you what you thought was successful was really actually trapping you into a negative cycle?
Well for me you know, this is Molly, I feel like when I was growing up I, I grew up in the Philippines. I immigrated here back in 2016, and that was success for us, , from a third world country, or like, you gotta make it big, you gotta go to America, and like you said earlier, with , the hustle culture, it's like, oh, I'm striving for hard work and good pay, but when I got here, I mean, pay wasn't bad, that was actually very good, I was helping my family out, I was sending money over, and I felt successful.
But the pitfall is, it's not just them I have to take care of. I have to make sure I pay my bills and, you know, I, in my mind, if I was a Filipino, oh, you're making a lot of [00:04:00] money. No, you're not really. And I feel like in their minds, I'm successful. But in the end, That's not real success to me. It's just money.
Yeah. So, that's how I feel. So your family sees you as... Successful. Yeah, like you've made it financially and like, wow, she can afford... A house. Yeah, and that's great and all. I mean, that's the American dream, right? You get here. You make money, you have a house, perfect, , perfect life, but that's not true.
, I feel fulfillment from other things other than, like, making a good paycheck or getting achievements or whatever. I find success really in my family, , the family I'm growing. As you know, I have a one year old and today my success was I got her to bed. Yay! You know? So, yeah. I love that. Yeah, that's exactly what we want to do is , redefine success.
And we're going to get into the research too.[00:05:00] But looking beyond the money aspect, what were some signs, you said like, , in a sense, it's like you made it financially, , and you have that status to your family members and to other Americans too, of , wow, she has a good job and a nice house and all these things, but what were some of the things for you that you personally felt and how you came to that realization of, okay, it's not about the money for me.
I'm also a physical therapist. So success is a very, like, a common word we use in the, in the field because success means, Oh, I got this patient from being bed bound to be able to walk. So to me, success is like goal oriented too, but that's where I find success. Like putting that all together. I find more of my success in seeing people thrive with my job.
, that to me is more successful than the paycheck I'm [00:06:00] getting. Like, if I get a patient from zero to, I can get in my car finally from being in bed all these months. That's, that's the success that I want to see and I want to share with people like whatever job you do, whatever paycheck you make, if you find that passion and love for the job you do and you see success around you because of the goals that you achieve with maybe as a clinician with your patients or as a podcaster with your listeners, it's, that's to me is more fulfilling and more successful than anything else.
Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. And the moms. Stay at home moms, too. Oh, for sure. , I mean, she's one. She made it around the sun and I feel so much success on that because, , it's so hard in the beginning, especially with babies so helpless and finding your parents, like, you don't even think about that as an adult.[00:07:00]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that in itself, you know, people give slack to stay at home moms, they're like, oh, you're not doing anything. They could do everything. Yeah. Everything. Like, taking care of the child, taking care of the household. That is, they say it's not successful. I think that's the best success of all because you can leave the workforce, be with your kids and raise them right.
You don't have to like rely on, you know, the system to raise them for you. You raise them. And you see them grow and you see them thrive, that's one of the best successes of all in life, I think. Yeah, that's an awesome perspective for those moms because it's true. And I, you know, my theory is people We are hardworking in all these different capacities like we want we all want to find fulfillment and purpose We all want these different things.
Sometimes we struggle to do that, different [00:08:00] circumstances come up But it's something that we want and I think that when we look at all these different jobs Whatever the job is. It's still work. It's still hard work and It's easy to fall into comparison, but I love the perspective that you gave for someone who's not clocking in to a nine to five every day and seeing that they are still making an impact.
They're raising a human and their work matters and it's hard work. It's most impact too because like the kids they won't remember the when you're gone. They'll remember when you're there. Yeah. And I think stay at home moms, God bless them. God bless them all. They're doing a great job. Mom, you're doing a good job.
Good job, Mama. Yeah, and I'm gonna ask both of you guys because I want to hear your perspective on this, but Molly, I'll start with you. Have you ever [00:09:00] experienced burnout? Because you know, we're also talking about, , we want to help people get out of that cycle, ? And to be able to achieve success, but in a way that feels good for them and is not at the expense of, , their mental or physical well being, but is that something that you've ever experienced?
Yes. I mean, I think if you ask anyone over, like, I'd say when you've In college, there's already burnout there. Like just studying your book over like everything It's already burnt out there. And right now, , like I said one year old definitely a burnout for sure, but I think you have to definitely Coming back to like your intro to you really have to find that passion For what you're doing and if you're not you got to find it That passion in other ways because you're not going to get yourself out of a burnout by continuing to do what you're [00:10:00] doing So you have to find like outlets, for example For me, I feel like it's not it's not the best outlet per se But at night when baby goes to bed Daddy and I are just gonna watch memes On the TV.
That's not a passion per se, but it's like downtime. Yeah, I look forward to that Yeah, and I'm currently looking for other things to put my time in I'm really into painting. I want to paint Then we need more paint parties. But yeah Absolutely, and I think you know that kind of thank you for inviting me because that reinvigorated my love for painting and my husband's like, do you want me to buy you an easel?
And I'm like, yeah. And you you got to find it. I personally, I'm still struggling with it as most people do. But once you find that Eureka moment of, I need to do something to make me feel passionate about life again, it doesn't have to be related with your job. [00:11:00] Completely different even if you want but just find something you can spend a little bit of time of your day in, get your, I think in, what is it called, like, leisure time.
But at the same time, it's stimulating. Yeah. And stimulation, positive stimulation to the brain. Not just scrolling through social media. Yeah, like you have to find those bits of time in your day where, Okay, I'm going to take the time to sit down, relax, and do what I'm passionate about. It doesn't have to be related with your work.
Just something simple easy doesn't have to be complicated like painting. Yes. I think yeah Yeah, you got to find that little little joy little spark and just cultivate that because once you do and you find that in your routine Life is gonna look so much brighter Yeah, because you have something else to look forward to other than like going to work clocking in clocking out driving home[00:12:00]
mm hmm. It sounds like, , burnout is inevitable, I mean, in your perspective, and I agree. Like, you know, , it's too easy to fall into burnout but like an antidote to burnout or if we're starting to notice those signs of burnout it's a good time to recognize burnout.
Something has to change and you can start small by like what's the thing that I really love to do And I'm not spending any time doing that obviously we get burned out if we're spending way too much time doing shit We don't want to be doing
Yeah, it's always in the back of your head and I know from experience like it's always in the back of my head I have to find something But it's just like, you know that painting thing that we did. That's fantastic I'm gonna I'm gonna try my best to get that time and You have to make the jump.
Yeah, if it's in the back of your head, that's not going anywhere Yeah, it was grad school for [00:13:00] me, not college. , I'm like, la dee da, all through even college and then hit grad school and I'm like, oh now it's the real world and it's all crashing down on me. But yeah, and then I got pregnant during grad school and then I had Asher, my little angel.
That sets in the exhaustion piece of everything and it was the book, The Artist's Way. But that was a while, I mean, I sure was like four when I, when I got my hands on that book. But yeah, that was burnout and exhaustion for quite a bit of time. And then I was like, that's what started it for me too, was art and like, Oh, I used to really be creative.
Oh, I love art. Oh, I like looking at art, like making art. So I highly recommend that book, The Artist's Way for anyone, if that resonates with you of. Yeah, creativity is something that can really ease some of my burnout and light me the fuck up and [00:14:00] help me through this moment of exhaustion. So Jen, we got to hear from you. You and I have had a lot of talks about this and like what success means on our hot girl walks. What comes to mind with this topic around success?
At this point in my life, I'm 27, I'm going to be three years married now, and I feel like I'm just figuring out what success means to me. CEO.
Owning my own like private practice as I work in the mental health field. I got my master's in mental health counseling. So for me, I thought I was going to be living in New York. Literally, going to Starbucks, getting like, I don't know, an Americano. And just like walking to my private practice. And I was going to [00:15:00] be a boss babe.
Yeah. So that was my ideal life for so long. I didn't even have marriage. In the picture, not even like a long term relationship. I just wanted it to be me. . And me succeeding and being able to buy my parents a house and a car or at least pay off their mortgage. And I was gonna be like the single, independent boss babe.
I don't need no one. And then I graduated college and I realized that wasn't the reality anymore for me. Specifically when I entered the workforce. I realized I was meeting a lot of these boss babes, and they didn't seem as happy as I thought they would look. And I think for me that was very unsettling, because that's the only thing I thought about, was once I reach their level of success, I will be happy.
And throughout [00:16:00] high school and college, I worked really hard wanting to get like the best grades, get like the best internships, make sure I have a job right away, even before college ended, I already had my first job at this private practice. And I'm like, yes, this is going to make me happy. But every stage that I was hitting, like every goal that I set for myself, it didn't feel fulfilling as I thought it would.
Why do you think hitting the goals you're setting for yourself just didn't feel fulfilling? I felt like it wasn't fulfilling because I was thinking of it more in a macro level. I genuinely thought that if I hit big goals, I would be fulfilled. Just because that's what society uplifts a lot of times. Big goals meaning graduating college, getting a really good job, getting a high earning job getting married, having kids, things like that.
But for [00:17:00] me, I started to learn that my personality or maybe my temperament, it just wasn't aligning. With what society was telling me how a boss babe needed to live her life And I found that my happiness or my version of success was accomplishing little things For me at that time, it's gonna sound really silly, but I picked up roller skating And for me, I was skating Monday through Sunday Yes Yes, and then every other weekend I would go to a roller rink I think that's what you call them, right?
. The roller rink. And I would practice my dance moves. . . And I would just go around, you know, in the little rink and just dance and practice. And I found so much happiness doing that. Oh my gosh. . And it's just, at the time, I think I was, I just hit my mid twenties and it wasn't [00:18:00] making sense.
Cause I'm like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Why is this making me more happy than staying at work late, being at boss bae, like trying to mimic the personality or temperament of my higher ups that were women, I was looking up to them. And it's just, it just wasn't aligning for who I was as a person, or who I am as a person, .
. So yeah. . Yeah. We all do have different personalities, but it's funny too because I think , a lot of people are in these positions for whatever reason , they're become workaholics and maybe a percentage of them really truly enjoy that and it's like, this is awesome.
This is what I want to be doing with my time. But for a lot of other people, it's more about maybe just that feeling of. , well, this is what I'm supposed to do. This is what I have to do and I have to tick those boxes and that belief of like maybe eventually the next bigger thing will [00:19:00] finally, , make me feel better or , at least it's the status symbol at least Set people pleasing like other people are seeing me this way and I don't want to let go of that I don't want to changed the way people see me just to pursue something that might bring more joy and passion, but I think the coolest thing you said was the focus and the realization of how the micro goals really bring the most joy, and I think that is so True, and I think that's something that so many people get hung up on, and , I got hung up on for sure, , it's something that I'm discovering recently, too, and putting way more emphasis and focus on, , those little small day to day routines, not, , the big macro goals or milestones, like you said of, oh, I need to be a millionaire, or I need to , make however much money a month [00:20:00] selling my art or I need to be in this huge arena or something.
Like I need to make it on Oprah or I need to be on the Forbes 30 list, right? Like those, those really big things that a lot of people aspire to or put on their vision board. But those smaller joys of , what did I love when I was a kid? What made me the happiest?
What do I actually want to spend my time on? Wouldn't that make the most successful life and make us feel well? Great, ? Like, Oh, today I got to go ride my bike. I got to go rollerblade. I got to spend time with my daughter. I got to paint. ? So I love that you're bringing that up. And I think that in itself could be a whole movement of focusing on the micro goals.
That's something too that, , I want to implement in my own life, what would it be like and feel like if we actually started focusing more on those [00:21:00] micro things and what we really, really, really actually enjoy versus those big things that we think are going to give us recognition or something.
. During that time, too, we're you're younger than us, but have you experienced, , a period of burnout or exhaustion? It sounds like you've been going through, yeah, like a discovery process. Yeah. The
biggest warning sign for me was I was feeling very resentful towards my co workers, towards my job, my degree. Even myself, like, why did I choose this path? Oh my gosh, been there. Why am I here? And, man, that really sucked because I [00:22:00] genuinely thought, Okay, Jen, just fake it until you make it. And then a year, two, three, four went by and I'm like, Man, I've been faking it and I don't feel like I'm making it and I'm miserable.
Yeah. And this really sucks and seeing, because I work in the mental health field, it's... It's predominantly women. So I was around a lot of women and I got to see anywhere from like, the psychiatric assistant. So they're more like entry level. And then you have the grad, graduate intern, which is how I came to this facility.
And then you have like the therapist, psychiatrist, and then all of that stuff. I got to see different levels of happiness, you know, and I got to see how. Different women handle their positions, handle their personal life,
It felt like they had this pressure as women to make it into the higher up executive level to prove something.
And [00:23:00] I'm not them, so I don't know. I don't want to speak on their behalf of what exactly they had to prove, but I know for me, I wanted to prove. That I was a boss babe because I felt like if I achieve these big goals That that means I was smarter than the average woman. I was more successful than the average woman So my perspective is very skewed.
If you just got a bachelor's or you just did Not these big grandiose things then I was like, okay, that's just average. I want to be more than average . You know, and I didn't realize what I was signing up for. It's like, being more than average also means, or I don't know if that's a good term, sorry.
It's, , like a top performer, top achiever, yeah. Yeah, like, I'd like to be that top 1% in this company. . I wouldn't be able to be a top percent in the world, but at least in this company. [00:24:00] Then that means that I actually made a difference, I actually achieved something compared to maybe other people if they're not on that level and it's like, well, did you really make a difference?
And I think that was just such a messed up way of seeing things, especially when I saw the psychiatric assistants. Again, their entry level they're trying to dip their toes into the facility world, they like it. And to see... The patients, writing them letters and telling them how much of a huge difference you made in my life.
Not the top executive, not me once I was able to work in corporate, once I was done being an intern. I'm like, okay, what am I going to do? They were the ones that were actually making a huge difference in people's lives. . , and that to me was very, Opening that's when all that resentment start coming out because I realized I wasn't being authentic to who I was I was [00:25:00] trying to be So and so yeah
, I, , relate with your story so much. And I feel like I had such a similar journey too. And I think, I mean, most of us when we're kids, we want to make, a huge impact on the world. We're like, I want to help as many people as possible and I want to do big things, great things, you know? And we know to get there, it's like, well, I got to work really hard.
, and I really care. I need to be the best. I need to outperform. I want to show up I take it seriously. For you to have those. Dreams and ideas of , I want to be able to show up and I want to be able to provide not only for whoever I'm caring for and the patients and whatever, but for yourself, your future family, your existing family, buying your family a house, ?
So it's like a lot of us are very idealistic in [00:26:00] that way. But that's like on the innocent side, we might have a little bit of that. And we might not realize, , we really can make an impact just in the people around us, ? And we do that , when we're kids. We do that just by being a good friend to someone.
But I think we have, on top of that, , the capitalistic... Oh, just agenda and put agenda. I hate that term. Why did I just say that? But like, everyone, everyone's talking about agendas nowadays. So I'll say, you know, the agenda of, you know, uh, the media, the marketing, right? Marketing that we've always had , trying to get us to buy more stuff.
How are we going to buy more stuff? You need to earn more money. You need to work more hours. And That's just ingrained in all of us too, so it's like there's also that side of like that pressure. I need to do that. I need to do this. And you definitely see that like you'll see. In any [00:27:00] field, you'll see people who might be sacrificing their time, their health, and well being and everything to work the extra hours, to climb up the ladder, to get to those positions.
I think a very tiny percentage, I mean, it's funny, I'm like getting super into all the things, human design, astrology, and any and everything. a disc expert come on here. I want an MBTI, but I'm getting into the Myers Briggs, the MBTI. And of those like 16 personalities, there's one that's like the stereotype of the of the CEO or the person that's always on their phone.
The person that is like a true workaholic and like. That's what they want to be doing with their time, you know? They'd rather be doing that than laying on the beach and relaxing. And that's their temperament. That's a, that's a small sliver, right? And those people, great. Like they, we need those [00:28:00] people. But it's like somehow we've kind of been brainwashed that like we all need to be those people.
I love that, yeah, that you've realized at a young age that you're like, nope, I'm gonna switch this around. I'm not gonna keep doing this and not get stuck in. Well, this is what I have to do now, whether I like it or not, for the rest of my life, you know?
to constantly envy them. Yeah. And I think that's pretty sad and scary, but it's very important to be aware of, especially with social media and constantly being bombarded. With now we have like these self help gurus going around saying you can own a Lamborghini. Everyone can be a millionaire. My favorite Kardashian where she said something like that.
Oh yeah, we're not working hard enough. [00:29:00] That's why you're not a millionaire. Get off your lazy ass. There you become one of, or you're in the cycle of enemy and them and want to have. So, it's just terrible overall, but like you said, I don't want, people who genuinely have these goals, and it's like very organic, and they want to pursue these things, I think it's amazing so I definitely don't want it to sound or come across as like if you have these huge aspirations to give it up, don't do it, it's like, you know, that's not what I'm trying to say at all, but I definitely want to put awareness where like you said, like not everyone has the temperament to do that, and that is okay.
And a lot of people who are listening might be in that discovery process. I mean, I'm in that right now, too. And I think that's cool for people to hear because they might have been, , [00:30:00] pursuing something for a couple years and it's just like feeling more and more like a dead end, but they feel trapped and that's trapped in that cycle of exhaustion and burnout and everything.
So that's why we want to, , give them hope and let everyone know that we all have different temperaments and there's a lot more to it than the money So money obviously is crucial to living and it's okay Like you said, it's okay to be ambitious to want to make money beyond the basic necessities The trap is in being singularly focused on the money aspect right like having the goal of being a millionaire and the macro goal, ?
Maybe like that's the only thing on your brain of, Oh, okay, that's my one. I do that. All my problems will be solved. So you have that single focus. I'm going to be a millionaire. Once I achieve that, I'll be happy. And then all the [00:31:00] while on the journey to get there, you're neglecting many important aspects of your wellbeing and happiness.
So let's slow down and think about what we actually want, even from these financial goals, , and what do we want in general? What do we think that extra money is gonna get us beyond meeting our basic needs? I want Everyone to enjoy your life. I want you to feel like your life is a major success, whether you do or don't hit your big financial goals, because the truth of the matter is that however much money you make, it's totally out of your control.
, it doesn't mean that you don't set it. goals or you don't try to improve, but it means even if you do everything right, there are still external factors that are outside of your control that might come into play that might prevent you from, say, becoming a millionaire. So let's find how we can tap into you.
the ways that you [00:32:00] can still feel successful through things like purposeful work and projects and relationships and experiences so that you can truly love your life. And a huge lesson for me, what helped me shift my perspective, because I definitely did not have this perspective in the past, but with my new perspective really that adage of know thyself, right?
Like going inward, listening to my intuition, studying. Astrology and human design and, , more about myself, my charts and tuning the outside noise. ? Tuning out the, all the advice you hear from all the gurus online or parents or whatever, like, well, shouldn't you keep with this job, , and why don't you do this?
Why don't you do that? So that made a big difference. And I always recommend having a regular practice of reflection, like with journaling and meditation and self development resources. [00:33:00] Because that's going to help you have clarity around what's in alignment for you and what's not. And you can use that internal wisdom of knowing, okay, what resonates and what doesn't?
Even with this episode and the rest of the tips that we're about to share, I want you to pay attention. , what parts of this resonate with me? , what's my temperament? what's going to be useful for me. So in looking to redefine success beyond the material wealth and societal expectations, let's now talk about, , those values, practices based on research that have shown Will increase happiness and health and longevity and just before we dive into the research that we found what's interesting is that some major themes across the different pieces of research was an emphasis on connection and community Health and [00:34:00] lifestyle and mindfulness, right?
And that art of living in the present moment. Well, I mean, just piggybacking on the mindfulness of living in the present moment, I just want everyone to know, if you are, your one foot is in the future, and your one foot is in the past, just remember, you're pissing on today. So let's live today. Let's live today.
Thank you for that. Okay, I promised we were going to get into some actual research insights on success and happiness and health. And so we're going to kick it off the World Happiness Report, which reviews the state of happiness in the world today and shows how the science of happiness explains personal and national variations in happiness.
And this report emphasizes that happiness should be viewed as a multi dimensional concept, which encompasses various factors beyond economic indicators. And the [00:35:00] six major factors are health, having someone to count on, having a sense of freedom to make key life decisions, generosity, income, and the absence of corruption.
All of these play strong roles in supporting the life evaluations in terms of happiness. We're going to share information directly from the Happiness Report website. The findings show the number one predictor of happiness is the importance of social factors. It highlights the significance of social support and strong social connections in fostering happiness and well being.
Countries with robust social welfare systems, community engagement, and interpersonal trust tend to have higher happiness levels. Social support or having someone to count on in times of trouble is very important. A question they ask is If you were in trouble, do you have relatives or friends you can count on to help you whenever you need them?
When it comes to wealth, [00:36:00] the report is focusing on GDP of the country and how that may impact the individual, gross domestic product, or how much each country produces, divided by a number of people in the country. GDP per capita gives information about the size of the economy and how the economy is performing.
Relationship between income and happiness. While income is an important factor in determining happiness, the report suggests that beyond a certain income threshold, the correlation between income and happiness becomes less significant.
Factors such as work life balance, job satisfaction, and access to quality healthcare and education plays crucial roles in the overall well being. Health and life expectancy, more than life expectancy, how is your physical and mental health?
Mental health is a key component of subjective well being and also a risk factor for future physical health and longevity. Mental health influences and drives a [00:37:00] number of individual choices, behaviors, and outcomes. Another important factor is freedom to make life choices. So a question that they ask is, Are you satisfied or dissatisfied with your freedom to choose what you want to do with your life?
This also includes human rights inherent to all human beings regardless of race, sex, nationality, ethnicity, language, religion, or any other status. Human rights include the right to life and liberty. Freedom from slavery and torture, freedom of opinion and expression, the right to work and education, and many more.
Everyone's entitled to these rights without discrimination. And generosity is another factor in the happiness report. So, questions like, have you donated money to a charity in the past month? A clear marker for a sense of positive community engagement and a central way that humans connect with each other is through [00:38:00] Generosity.
Research shows that in all cultures, starting in early childhood, people are drawn to behaviors which benefit other people. Another is the perception of corruption. Is corruption widespread throughout your government or not? And is corruption widespread within businesses or not? Do people trust their governments and have trust in the benevolence of others?
They also mentioned some top ranking countries. The report identifies the countries that rank highest in terms of overall happiness. In previous editions, countries such as Finland, Denmark, Norway, and Iceland have often featured prominently at this list. You know, talking about all of those points, you can see.
the wealth. You can see the social factors. You can see the relationship between income and happiness. Like the life expectancy is more freedom to make life choices. All of these countries are known to have [00:39:00] all of these and Yeah, they feel like the model, like, okay, maybe other countries should follow suit.
They should, right? Yeah. That's why they're, they score high in these these top countries score high in all these different areas. So they're obviously doing something right and that's really the aim that's like kind of the mission and the purpose behind doing this happiness report. They aim to encourage policy interventions and they want, you know, to take this information to different presidents and leaders and officials in different countries and to help educate them and help make those reforms.
And so, you know, they want to help encourage those interventions in mental health and social cohesion, income inequality, and environmental sustainability. So it's a really cool report and it gives a lot of [00:40:00] insight. You know, the one that stood out to me that I thought was so interesting, I don't know if it's my age or if it's really like the state we're in.
But, I am someone that was, , blissfully ignorant and naive to a fault all of my life. But, maybe it's TikTok, but, , that's a big one that I'm like, it really is affecting my overall happiness and mood is that perception of corruption. No kidding. Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's, anyway. Anyway. So, don't know where America's ranking, I'm not assuming it's very high.
But let's, that was one of, , , the first piece of research we wanted to bring. We're going to have in the show notes where you can access , a little explainer video about the happiness report and you can read the whole report as well. So we'll have that linked in the show notes.
But that definitely, like we saw, is those common themes we mentioned earlier, and now we're going to talk about the blue zones. So the blue [00:41:00] zones center more around aspects of health and physical well being, which we know also play a role in our mental and spiritual well being, right? But that's I feel like that's more of an emphasis on that physical aspect.
Yeah, blue zones are regions with the highest concentration of
centenarians, did I say that right? They are the people who live a hundred or more years and believe me they exist. The lowest rates of chronic diseases and the highest population of those who are still very active in their 80s and 90s. Blue Zone regions we know of, we have an island in Greece, Ikaria, Ikenawa, an island in Japan, Sardinia in Italy, Loma Linda, a small city in California, and Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica.
Well, yeah, you guys ready to move to Sardinia with me? I'm, I'm, I'm from there. I got that in my little DNA results. I noticed there [00:42:00] was two islands. And Italy. Yeah. The islands, right? Yeah. Yeah. It just, it also shows you how they're disconnected from what we were talking about with the pitfalls of, you know, like the success and stuff.
They don't have that. City. And that's why they're a blue zone. Yeah. I think. Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. The researcher Dan Boettner found those key factors contributing to longevity and well being in these regions. So again, it also includes strong social connections. But also he found a predominantly plant based nutritional intake, regular physical activity, and a purpose driven life.
So, We can see that by prioritizing these aspects that have been mentioned, like community, nutrition, exercise, and creating a sense of meaning or purpose for yourself, we can improve our quality of life regardless of our financial [00:43:00] status.
So here are the Power 9 of the Blue Zones. One, move naturally. Engage in regular physical activity through natural movements, like walking, gardening, or doing household chores. Incorporate movement into your daily routine. The second one is purpose. Discover your sense of purpose and align your life with it.
Having a clear reason to wake up each day can contribute to a longer and healthier life. The third one is downshift. Find ways to reduce stress in your life. Cultivate habits such as meditation, napping, or taking time to relax and unwind regularly. Jen, I just have to say that your voice sounds like a meditation app.
Oh my gosh, stop it! I'm blushing! And then, number four. 80% rule, practice mindful eating by stopping eating when you're about 80% full. Hmm, I definitely need to do this one. This helps prevent overeating and promotes [00:44:00] a balanced diet. And then five, plant slat. Consume a predominantly plant based diet, emphasizing fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, and nuts, and minimizing intake of meat and processed foods.
And then wine at five in some blue zones. Moderate and regular alcohol consumption, especially red wine, is a common practice. So it's important to note that moderation is key and this principle may not apply to everyone. And belonging is another one of these power nines. Fostering strong social connections and cultivating a sense of belonging.
Investing into your relationships with family, friends, and community members. And participating in things like social activities and social networks. And then, putting your loved ones first. Prioritizing family and investing the time and energy in nurturing close relationships. And making [00:45:00] family a central part of your life.
And providing support to your loved ones. Rounding it off is the right tribe. Surround yourself with individuals who support and encourage healthy behaviors. Form social circles that reinforce positive habits and make healthy life choices be the norm. And I think we're actually doing it right now. I mean, you know, we have this nice little circle and.
We're doing it. Neighbor power. Community. We're, you know, we're forming a community with each other and I think that's beautiful. We are. One of the researches too that we wanted to talk about was IKIGAI. It's center more around finding and creating the purpose of meaningful work, which asks, which aspects a lot of our material monetary needs as well as higher self actualization needs that.
That speak more to our mind and soul and not just the care of our body and physical [00:46:00] form. Ikigai is a Japanese concept that translates to a reason for being or a reason to wake up in the morning. I love that by the way. And it emphasizing, it emphasizes finding purpose, meaning, and joy in daily life.
There's four elements, which is passion, what you love. Mission, what the world needs, vocation, what you're good at, and profession, what you can get paid to do. When these elements align, individuals can experience a profound sense of fulfillment irrespective of their financial situation. And , that's a beautiful concept, I think finding that success we were talking about.
, those four things. I love that passion, mission, vocation, and profession. Yeah. Some people find that out the gate, but I think for a lot of us, it's going to be that hero's journey and I'm definitely there like how you were sharing earlier, Jen, and it's like, okay, I'm still trying to connect all those [00:47:00] dots and like, how do I get all four of these elements?
And I finally feel like I'm doing that. And we have a really cool explainer video in the show notes. I stumbled across a YouTube video explaining like these four elements, right? , okay, what's, what really is a passion? What's a mission? What's a vocation? What's a profession? , what are some examples of that?
What does that look and feel like and how you can put that together? So definitely recommend checking out that video as well.
I do want to touch back on the blue zones a little bit too. Because it really got me when we were looking through them. Like, first of all, the move naturally. We as humans are made, like we're literally made to move, you know? And I feel like we were talking about corporations do like your job.
A lot of it is sitting down, a lot of it is like looking at a screen, and you know, I think [00:48:00] it, I want to emphasize that more to move naturally and it also even said like it doesn't have to be at the gym, like taking a video, going back to like the social media stuff, you just want to do it for yourself.
And I feel like that's gonna be more for fulfilling than actually just working out and showing that off online. Does that make sense? Yes, please teach me Molly. I need help with that. You gotta find like a good Physical activity for yourself. Like you said earlier roller skating. I mean, I didn't know that about you by the way but Find something that sparks joy physically like roller skating like you mentioned biking just and just taking walks I mean people don't do that anymore.
Like yeah, just don't let's go out for a walk. Like I hate it that I always say no[00:49:00]
Yes on the record Melissa is the best one when it comes to going on walks I texted you guys last night about going for a
walk, just wanted to just got to find that little moment because,, and again, my apologies, I can't go, baby girl, you know, bedtime at seven. But yeah, finding different, actually, bowling. Yes. It also circles back to that , belonging, uh, from the, , power nine, number seven, belong. Like, it, that physical activity can also foster.
Social connections like joining maybe a volleyball league or something like I see that all the time with my patients I I work in home health. So I do home health like 65 and up and I have patients god bless them They get injured Because they went going [00:50:00] pickleball, like, you know, and it hits so many different things from the power nine of like, blue zones, blue zones.
And, you know, they have physical activity. They hit the mark with belonging. They also hit the mark with purpose because most of them are retired and the the physical activity of sport and that camaraderie and Purpose. You hit three birds with one stone, I guess. I don't know. Yeah. Mm hmm. We gotta get it together now so when we're playing pickleball we don't end up in Erin's office because...
Oh yeah. We were just watching a video. We were watching his doctor that he works with did like an interview or whatever and he was like, yeah, you know, get a lot of elderly playing tennis and Aaron's like, no, it's pickleball. It's always pickleball. It's always pickleball. I don't know if our listeners know the pickleball craze, but it's a thing.
No, tell me. The 65 and ups and [00:51:00] actually they even, they even have sports events like actual televised sport events of this thing. What? Yeah. Yeah. So look it up. I did not know this. The Villages maybe, yeah. I can't remember where I was. It was a bar and I saw it and literally I told my husband, pickleball is on TV.
I was just talking to you about pickleball the other day and it's on TV with like 20 year olds. And it's crazy. It's amazing. Okay. I have to look this up then. . Cause I did not know. Another idea too with just like the natural movement. I saw a reel from a therapist. What's her name? Ugh, I can't remember.
Anyways Oh, Tiffany Rowe. Tiffany Rowe on Instagram and she did a video. She does a lot of like just
And I've seen other videos, too, of just those movements that we don't think about doing, like [00:52:00] swaying our whole body side to side, you know, or kind of like almost like Tai Chi. Yeah. Feels like Tai Chi. Yeah, like just, just moving in general, like just shake your body or something. Yeah. You know, stand up from your desk and move it in whatever way comes to mind.
It's like interpretive dancing, right? Just like go with the flow, whatever you feel. Yes, I was going to say go dancing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we need to normalize more dancing. Yeah, that's movement. That, that counts. Absolutely. Oh, there's like ballroom places too, everywhere. But again, it's really just movement, like dance, sport, walks, walking the dog, , walking, stretching, yoga, tai chi, there's so many different ways to move your body, climb up and down the stairs even.
That's a task. Yep, yep
so, as a dietitian, , the [00:53:00] interesting ones to like the 80% rule, stopping when you're 80% full, or the plant slant, like the predominantly plant based diet, you know, I've worked with the eating disorder population. I've had my own eating disorder and just whole journey with food from, , growing up not conscious at all about what I'm eating.
And eating, , just very typical American diet to extreme, like, orthorexic tendencies and and then, , settling back into more of like intuitive eating and just no rules, no food rules and, but really focusing on like moderation and meeting my needs, what feels good. But, I do want to say that, you know, this plant slant thing has some research to back it up.
It, it really does because from the meta analysis and the research when it comes to nutrition, , they analyze all different types of [00:54:00] diets, , popular diets and, or just Ways that you can have your macronutrient ratios and different things, so they'll, , do different, like high carb low protein, high protein, low carb, low fat, like all those things, or fasting, or keto and time and time again, like what they have shown that what is going to be the best overall just kind of intake will be something that's going to look more plant based, but really it's, it's basically the Mediterranean diet.
So the Mediterranean diet which is. an emphasis on fruits and vegetables and whole grains and legumes and nuts, but also really like more of the animal protein is going to be predominantly like fish, right? And also in addition, like your fats will be more like oils and things like that, unsaturated fats.
That has shown [00:55:00] in the research to be heart health promote, promoting and to meet your needs, to have a really good ratio of carbs, fats, and proteins. And so, I think that's interesting, right? I'm not someone who is a...
I'm not like a preacher of, you know, it has to be this way. I've just gotten to the place with nutrition that I'm like, it's nuanced, like, and do whatever you want, but yeah, the Mediterranean intake is something that I, that from the research shows, but I think, you know, another thing that we see in research is maybe you're doing that, but maybe.
You hate it, and it's stressful, and if you're just focused on that, there's other factors that matter, too, not just how you eat. And we've had this conversation, too, Melissa when we go on our walks, and by me, like me once in a blue moon, Melissa all the time. [00:56:00] But definitely the really hard one for me would be, uh, let me see, I'm looking here, the plant slant one, number five just because everyone lifestyle is so different.
Yep. I was putting so much emphasis on making sure that I was eating healthy, making sure I was buying the right food, and it was just not fun. It was very stressful. So I definitely remember going on our walks and talking about it with Melissa and trying to figure out like how do I do this where it feels organic, where it feels like it's good for me, and I'm not trying to force this on me.
So I think by reading This list, it made me realize that I kind of have to start to what where it makes more sense to me, which would be the number seven, which is belonging, and a number eight, which is loved ones first. And I think [00:57:00] before was starting with like, okay, physical activity and eating, which is great, definitely eat healthy, get some exercise.
but I was definitely neglecting what came very natural to me, which would be cultivating relationships with other people, seeing my family, seeing my friends, having some alone time with my husband, going out, planning little dates and trips, and then that helps everything else on this list come more naturally.
So I would kind of see it from that point of view of I think it's very typical for people to come and try to change their life with, Okay, I'm going to change my eating habits. I'm not going to eat McDonald's or go to Starbucks or I'm going to go to Pilates. And that might not work for everyone straight ahead.
Like, you know, that's your first option, you know, like find like what you really Want to do like how do you want to come about this and for me [00:58:00] those two the belonging and the loved ones Come really naturally to me and I love doing that and then everything else kind of starts Falling into place for me and it makes me want to eat more healthy and it makes me want to do more physical activity because I start enjoying life You know, and I'm not as stressed anymore, and I'm like, yeah, I had a great day, why ended eating five pizzas until I am 200% full, you know, I want to end my day.
With snacking, something healthier, like I know it sounds silly, but I hope that makes sense. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Totally. And I think, , they noticed, okay, these people in these blue zones, these areas are living longer, and these are some of the habits they have and everything, but I know there's so much, there's so much variation, there's so many factors that go into our well being and Even if some [00:59:00] things can seem like so black and white and like a rule, like I have to do this every day, but really it's like, okay, maybe we're doing that a lot of the time or most of the time or some of the time or whatever that makes a difference.
And that's really hard for us to do in our hustle culture, right? Especially if we're very subscribed to it or we're stuck in a job that is really overworking us and understaffed and everything. Then who has the energy? to , make their food from scratch and like get, you know, do these elaborate meals.
And so we're really going to go with what's affordable, what's convenient, food is insanely expensive right now. So don't beat yourself up. Don't feel like, oh my gosh, I can't be happy or healthy unless I eat perfectly and eat this way. How about you start with some of the other stuff, right? You can start with, okay, maybe I need to Put a little more attention to my [01:00:00] purpose, my career, my Aikigai, right?
And that will start to shift things. That starts to open you up to have more time, more space, more energy. And then maybe eventually you have a bit more time to like even change some of the eating and movement habits and things like that. So definitely just look at where you are at and what you can do today and do not get trapped in perfectionism and that all or nothing thinking and , looking at this list of like, Oh my God, I gotta check every box every day now and I'm failing if I don't.
No, that's not the purpose of the list either, . Really, it's just putting things into perspective like, Okay, these are things you can look at in your life and adjust accordingly. And like you said, it's not, and honestly, a lot of people think it's a race. It's not a race. If it's not the time, and time will come.
Time is ever changing. Time is forever. In a way, so like, [01:01:00] you know, just take your time, smell the roses, and that's, that's what it's about, like really just finding your way. And these are, the research that we discussed is really about just key points to think about, but everyone's journey is different.
It's not a straight line. So, just take your time and re evaluate yourself ever so often. Cause even right now, you know, we're in a journey, it is a journey, it's gonna stay a journey. Yeah. You know? And, just take it easy. Take it easy. Thank you guys so much for... Joining and this was fun. This is something that Jen shared like a video.
Oh my gosh, we didn't even talk about that like embracing ordinary life. Oh man, but , yeah, if you guys want to check out the video I'm not sure how to pronounce, it's called Honey and Absinthe. Absinthe, [01:02:00] yeah, that, that crazy drink, honey and absinthe, so that's a YouTuber channel. That's the YouTuber name and the video is called Why I Live a Boring Life at 30 Years Old.
Ambition is Overrated. Yes. I love that. Yeah, so it's that idea of , okay. Ambition, that typical hustle idea that we have. , it's overrated. It truly is. And like I said, , when you get there, even like you said, like, Jen said she got there, she was seeing it. It's not, it's not everything.
, it's not, and it's really about just living life. The people forget how to live their lives. They're so focused on ambition and hustle and all that, but take also touch grass. Touch some grass guys. Touch some grass for sure. Embrace the ordinary. At least have that balance, right? What [01:03:00] really helped me I have had terrible, , just body image issues, perfectionism, any mental health thing you can think of, I've had it, but what helped me the most was getting to a place of neutrality, like sometimes we live in extremes, extremes are not healthy.
Mm mm. No. So. So, you don't want to live in extremes if you notice that you kind of fall into extreme thinking and you're kind of like really low or really high or all or nothing, right? Like, I either am killing myself to check everything off my to do list and to be the best in success or I'm a total and complete failure, then, , this is what we're talking about.
, take a step back, focus on, . How we can move away from that extreme of the toxic like hustle culture and being just so focused on [01:04:00] work and making money. But also I know we all have to make money to survive, right? So we know it's not helpful either for us to just kind of be.
Meditating all the time and in la la land and not doing anything, right? We don't want to get like too soft and in our comfort zone. Like we need to have, we do need to have some Moments of adversity and growth and all of that stuff. But like the day to day should be pretty neutral. It should be pretty Normal, pretty ordinary.
We can still strive for like Extraordinary things we could still want to make Extraordinary impact, but we can't just like expect that and demand that of ourselves all the time. So I love that video you shared and she's like, embrace ordinary, , just like chill, chill out. Exactly. And that's why. I am kind of happy with social media of what's going on now where people are showing ordinary lives now.
Yeah. Whether it's [01:05:00] through TikTok and like little snippets or making YouTube videos and just showing like, Hey, this is what it's like to have a nine to five, and then kind of vlog the rest of my day uploading YouTube and people are relating to it. Yeah, and I really love that because. I don't know, maybe like a few years ago before it was like, Oh, I hustled my way up here.
I got my first mansion at 23. No, it was also like my sweet 16 cribs. Oh my gosh, exactly. Exactly. And then I don't know if you guys remember, but nasty gal, remember that clothing brand? Yeah. So that's our generation. I'm not sure. Yeah, like definitely Millennials and older Gen Z's. We could relate to that, like we grew up watching older women.
Oh, I went to their networking events, everything. Exactly, yeah, and they were like... Hashtag girlboss. Yes, how to be a girlboss [01:06:00] by 30, be a million by 30, have a mansion by 30. I mean, you had to have so many things by... 30 and yes, and it makes me really sad that we have this whole generation of young women who are dreading To be 30 because they feel like they haven't checked out all these boxes and I just yeah I don't think that's fair and I'm like I want to set an example for my little sister and Younger girls because right now I'm in my late 20s.
So girls who are You know, early, mid, and let them know, hey, you don't have to have all these boxes checked by 30. It's just not realistic. Everyone's journey is so different. And I think that's what's so beautiful. The fact that I was able to meet you guys in this neighborhood, and we have Molly, she was just pregnant.
She just announced her pregnancy at the time and then we had Melissa who had her little family and then [01:07:00] Lucas and I were newlyweds. And we just all came together with different experiences, different stages in our lives and we're still able to form this beautiful friendship. And I love that. Me too. I do, I did like that you pointed out like how, in a way, we're in different stages of our lives.
But we still connect, you know, there's still a community amongst us. And, you know, we're hitting the mark on the list because there's community. We give ourselves like this support group. And it's beautiful. And I really am very happy that we were here. We're here. Me too. Yeah. I love you guys and love you Alright, so my last question for you guys, because I want to know, the listeners got to know, how do you stay high vibe?[01:08:00]
I go first, oh my gosh. So I think I kind of mentioned it earlier in the podcast, pretty much I love seeing my friends, my family I love spending time with my husband, and another thing too is that I was able to leave. That job environment where it was very much hustle culture. And I realized that instead of staying there and being resentful, I decided that it was time for me to move on.
And I'm sure some other person probably took my position and are killing it. And that's awesome. They probably have the right temperament, but little Jen. I just wasn't for me and that's okay and it took some time to accept that and to not beat myself for it and just accept the fact that I love just a slower pace in life and by transitioning [01:09:00] to a new position, a new job, uh, I was able to find a pretty good balance.
It's not perfect. I'm still figuring things out. I would love to go on more walks but I have so much hope that I will get there compared to before when I was part of this ambitious hustle boss babe culture where I didn't have any hope and it just felt like I was trying to achieve this goal you That was just never going to happen because it just wasn't me.
I love that you got out of the cycle of bullshit And stay high vibe by doing you know, what's actually aligned for you You know, I think I stay high vibe It's so funny. I stay high vibe because I talk to my family all the time, like every day. Whenever I'm feeling [01:10:00] down or whenever I'm feeling like burnt out or whatever, I just pick up the phone.
I call my sister and say, hey, what's up? And we talk. We have Sophia on the phone, my baby girl. And we'll just talk over while she like does things for Sophia like on the phone, make her laugh. And that keeps me high vibe. And of course my husband. God loving husband. He takes care of the baby all day, but he keeps me high vibe because he's like at the end of the day I come home.
I see them. I Opened the door Sophia squealing Kirk very happy to see me and that just keeps me going that keeps me going He is a kid at heart. Yes, and I have two kids at home My husband and my baby girl, but yeah, they they keep me high vibe and we keep each other high vibe. So Awesome. All right, guys, stay high vibe and remember a truly successful life is one that brings happiness, health and positive impact to oneself and others.[01:11:00]